Operation Get Lavi to like Allen
by Dgm-yoai-lover
Summary: Allen likes Lavi, but so do most of the women and gay men in the order, so he enlists Kanda's help to get Lavi to notice him. But has Lavi already noticed someone...? AllenxLavi Laven semi-crack
1. Chapter 1

**This fic is based on an RP that I played with nella once.**

**I don't own DGM.**

**--**

'Kanda, can I ask you something?'

The samurai looked up from his plate of half-finished soba in annoyance. Allen blinked innocently next to him, a determined look on his face. The older man glared in annoyance, and then went back to eating his precious noodles.

'Why should I answer questions from you? Get lost, you're wasting my time.'

'No I wont!' the shorter folded his arms crossly, pouting, 'I just wanted to know how long you've known Lavi.'

'If I answer your question will you go away?'

'Yes.'

'I've known the rabbit about two or three years. Buzz off.'

'Then you must know him pretty well right?' Allen said enthusiastically and leaned forward to hear more. A vein popped in Kanda's forehead. He'd been sitting here quietly, minding his own business, not yelling or beating anyone up, and the annoying sprout had come along, sat next to him and started asking dumb questions about the also annoying rabbit! Couldn't he just eat his soba in peace?! He sighed, put down his chopsticks and swivelled in his seat to face Allen.

'I've known the rabbit that long, but as far as I can remember he has only ever opened up to anyone twice in his life, and one of those times was to you in the Ark. He's touchy-feely and crap but he's not exactly one to talk about himself. Now will you go away?'

The cursed exorcist in front of him blinked, and then stared sadly at his lap, wringing his hands nervously. 'Oh...'

'Che, why are you even asking me these dumb questions? If you're so interested in Usagi go ask him yourself. Idiot never shuts up, I'm sure he'd be happy to talk...'

'Well, I can't... The reason I'm asking you these questions is cos, well he seems to be close with you... Well as close as anyone can get with you really... Tell me,' Allen suddenly looked up, his face set, 'Does he like anyone right now?'

Kanda blinked. He sighed in exasperation and rolled his dark eyes.

'Great, you like him.'

'Yes...' Allen nodded, blushing madly, 'Please don't tell anyone.'

'Why would I gossip about such meaningless information? You like him huh? Only you and every other idiot in this depressing place...'

'Eh?' Allen looked confused, 'Other people like Lavi?'

'Yes. Off the top of my head I can name Lenalee, Miranda, some of the new scientists from other branches, a bunch of finders... And for some reason they all come to me with their stupid lovesick whining.'

He meant the last part to be a hint to get Allen to leave him alone, but the shorter seemed to be completely oblivious to the irritation in his voice. He sat there, blue lines and black clouds appearing above his head.

'Lenalee and Miranda?' he groaned, head in his hands, 'Aw, I can't compete with pretty girls! I'm doomed...'

'Che...' Kanda rolled his eyes, 'If it makes you feel better Moyashi, he turned both of them down. As well as the other people who have confessed to him... Stinking Man-Whore...'

'He's not a whore unless he sleeps with them, Kanda.'

'You're what, twelve?' Kanda glared, 'I'm surprised you know what a whore is!'

'One, I'm fifteen, and two, my master is General Cross.'

'Whatever...' Kanda got up and started walking towards the large oak doors that led into the outside corridor. He wanted to go train in the forest, and was glad to finally get away of the kid, but to his great dislike Allen seemed determined to get more out of the older man and was following him like an excited puppy.

'S-So has he ever... Ugh, I hate to sound desperate here...'

'Then don't.' Kanda stopped dead and turned to face him, towering over him with a dark scowl.

'I just want to know if he's ever mentioned me to you!' Allen glared up at him, not finding his height intimidating at all, 'I don't like having to ask you for this either Bakanda but I don't really have any other options. I can't ask Lenalee cos she likes him too, I can't ask Bookman for obvious reasons...'

'Fine. He has mentioned you a few times, but I don't even talk to him much, so it wasn't anything big.'

'Still, it's something!' Allen's face brightened, 'What did he say exactly?'

'He told me once he thought you were brave. I however, think you are more stupid then brave. I don't remember what he said the other times because I didn't find it worth listening to.'

He turned on his heels to continue walking towards the door that would lead outside, but to his chagrin he felt Allen grab his sleeve, preventing him from leaving. He turned again, this time with the aim of slicing the boy in half with Mugen, but to his surprise he found Allen on his knees, head bowed.

'Kanda, please help me make Lavi like me!'

'What?' the samurai wrinkled his nose in disgust at the thought of assisting in such trivial things. Allen looked up him, his silver orbs begging his assistance.

'Please? I won't make you do anything horrifying!'

'Too bad,' Kanda stepped back, trying to tug his coat out of the boy's grasp, 'Let go.'

Allen sighed heavily and stood up. An evil air surrounded him, the same aura he got when playing poker. It sent chills down even Kanda's spine, though he would never admit it. The younger exorcist reached into his pocket and pulled out a small photo.

'I was hoping it wouldn't have to come to this Kanda, I really was... But f you don't help me,' he grinned sadistically, devil horns appearing on his head as he turned the picture around so Kanda could see it, 'then this photograph will become the Orders new wallpaper.'

Kanda stifled a horrified gasp. His eyes widened as he took a step back. Allen was holding a photo of when he was younger, only nine or so back when he'd first started travelling with Tiedoll, before he'd joined the order yet. He was asleep, curled up on a futon, hugging a large teddy bear, his then-shortish black hair messy and tangled, his face a picture of angelic serenity.

'_Isn't little Yu-Chan cute?'_ Allen said in a taunting sweet voice, 'that's what everyone will be saying this time tomorrow...'

'Where... Where the fuck did you get that?!' Kanda's voice was quiet with anger.

'General Tiedoll was nice enough to give me a few copies of pictures from his family photo album. I've got hundreds more copies hidden in places you'll never think of, so don't even tell me you'll find them all and burn them. Ready to help me now?'

'I...I...' Kanda was truly scared. If that picture got out, his tough guy image would be ruined and no one would ever shut up about it. It would be humiliating. He had no choice.'

'Fine.' He said through gritted teeth. 'But you can't just MAKE someone like you, baka. If he doesn't end up liking you, don't blame me.'

'I know...' Allen sighed sadly as he repocketed the picture, the evil aura replaced by the usual one of innocent naivety. 'But, you know... Can't hurt to try, can it?'

'Che... Evil bastard...'

--

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**I will be writing this until my writers block clears up.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own it.**

**--**

Lavi was sitting comfortable under a tree outside, reading a book. It was a good book, a fairytale, and the reason he was reading it in the forest was because if he was up at the castle, Panda would make him do work, and on a nice day like this he really didn't feel like it. He yawned at the thought and turned the page.  
After a while, he hurt the sound of boots stepping on twigs and leaves and looked up. Kanda was coming towards him, his jaw set in a firm line. The redhead grinned and put down his book.

'Yu-Chan! To what do I owe the pleasure?'

'Shut up Usagi,' the samurai sat next to him and took a swig from a bottle of water, 'and don't call me Yu. I just got back from training so don't think I came out of my way to see you or anything.'

'Wouldn't dream of it.' The Bookman chuckled and picked up his book again. After a minute, Kanda spoke again.

'You've got another one. Another one of those weirdo admirers I mean.'

'Hm?' Lavi made a semi-interested sound, 'another one huh? Doesn't that make it double digits?'

'Yes. Want to know who it is?'

Lavi sighed and put his book down again. He looked over at Kanda with a tired smile.

'Honestly Yu... Not really. I'm really flattered by all these love confessions... But I'm not really in a good place for a relationship...'

'Why? Because of Bookman?'

'Nah, Bookman's too old to train another apprentice, so no matter what I do at this point I'm pretty much set. I just don't have anyone that I'm interested in.'

Kanda raised his eyebrow.

'You're a bisexual pervert.'

'I know, but... Yeah, appearances are great but I do have some depth Yu. I just haven't found anyone I like for more then a day yet.'

'Che, whatever... Oi.' The samurai added suddenly, 'What do you think of Moyashi?'

'Allen?' Lavi blinked in surprise, 'He's a good kid. He's sweet, cute, brave, not much to hate about him really... Why?'

'No reason. I'm outta here, you're boring me.'

The Japanese man got heavily to his feet and started trudging out of the forest towards the castle. Under Allen's orders, he had to talk about him with Lavi without being suspicious to find out if he's interested and then report back to him. He sighed heavily, unable to believe he was reduced to this. Next time he saw Tiedoll he was going to kill that sentimental fool...

--

Allen pushed open Lavi's door and went in, hoping the redhead would forgive him for breaking in. He placed a bouquet of white lilies on his pillow, as well as the card he had written. He knew this was corny, and a secret admirer note was stupid since Lavi didn't know who was writing it, but he felt useless while getting Kanda to do his dirty work, and wanted to at least do something. He knew Lavi would probably never like him back, but like he said the day before, it didn't hurt to try.  
He smiled at the flowers, hoping Lavi would appreciate them, and then exited the room, closing the door behind him. Sun shone in through the windows as he walked down the various halls and corridors, a mysterious force leading him towards the cafeteria. He hoped Kanda hadn't been an idiot and given away the shorter's feelings just yet, because the samurai wasn't exactly full of tact.

'Oi, moyashi.'

Allen spun around at the sound of the nickname. He pouted.

'It's Allen!'

'So you've told me,' Kanda said coolly. 'I talked to the rabbit.'

'And?'

'And he's not interested in anyone. I asked him about you and he just said you were a good kid.'

'Oh.' Allen face fell, disappointed, then suddenly smiled again, 'Well that's ok! If he's not interested in anyone then if I work at it he could become interested in me! I at least want to tell him how I feel, but I don't think I have the guts to do that right now... I put some flowers in his room just then and I couldn't even bring myself to sign the card.'

'You gave him an anonymous love letter?' Kanda smirked, 'That's so stupid! It'll never work!'

'I know...' the boy sighed, 'But I just wanted to give him something that conveyed my feelings. I don't really know what kind of things he would like, so flowers and a card was the first thing that popped into my head. If you have a better idea I'd certainly love to hear it.'

'Che,' the taller man rolled his steely eyes, 'Fine. Why don't you just go into town and get something from the shops if you want to give him a present so bad.'

Allen blinked, considering it for a moment, then smiled brightly again and flung himself forward, hugging Kanda tightly. The samurai eye twitched, and a vein popped in his forehead.

'Get the hell off me moyashi!' Kanda tossed him off, feeling repulsed he had actually.. _Shudder_... Been hugged by someone. Allen chuckled and grinned evilly.

'Aw, but I just wanted to thank you for coming with me to help choose Lavi's gift.'

'What? I never agreed to-'

Allen suddenly held up one of Kanda's baby pictures. This time, he was in a bubble bath, playing with a rubber duck. The samurai clenched his fist. The moment Tiedoll returned from that mission he'd been sent on this morning he was so fucking dead.

--

As Lavi emerged from the forest, he noticed two figures in exorcist gear in the distance working down the road towards the nearby town. Upon closer inspection, there was no mistaking the dark pony tail or the short white hair. He raised his eyebrow, wondering what on earth those two were doing hanging out together, being mortal foes and all.

'Ah!' a voice called, 'Master Lavi!'

Lavi turned and grinned to see one of the Order's finders coming towards him, an urgent look on the older man's face.

'Hey Michael, what brings you here?'

'Master Bookman sent me to find you. He's really angry you skipped library work.'

'Don't worry, I'm going back now... Hey, Allen and Yu... I mean Kanda walked by just then. Are they on a mission or something?'

'Huh?' Micheal the finder blinked, 'No, as far as i know there hasn't been any missions assigned to non-general exorcists lately. Excuse me, i have to be somewhere.'

The finder bowed his head and left. Lavi raised his eyebrow. If they weren't on a mission...

--

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	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own it. If I did the anime would have continued forever, with lots of sexy laven shower scenes. I'm drooling just at the thought of it, heh.**

**--**

After arriving in town, the two teen exorcists walked into a small cafe and sat down. Allen ordered a mountain of food, while the samurai ordered nothing. The waitress wrote down the items on her notepad then went off to the kitchen.

'Don't you want anything to eat Kanda?' the younger boy asked.

'No. Shouldn't we be looking for a present for the rabbit?'

'Well yes,' Allen smiled and leant his chin in his hands, 'but I thought we could talk about what I should get him first. I have no idea what kind of stuff he likes.'

'Che, you claim to have feelings for him but you don't even know him properly? You're such a giggling school girl.'

'It's not like that! I meant... Ok I don't know what I mean... I know him as a person, but I don't know what kind of material items he likes, and I'm no good at buying presents! So just help me pick!'

'Fine.' The Japanese huffed and leant back, crossing one leg over the others. He sighed.

'Alright, to start off, the rabbit's a pack rat; he'll love anything you give him and keep it even if it's broken. So I think the real question is what _you _want to get him rather then the kind of things he likes.'

'Well...' the shorter tapped the table absent-mindedly, 'I can't get him a book... I actually have no idea what I want to get him. What do you think I should buy?'

Kanda inwardly groaned and massaged his temples to cure the moyashi-induced headache. He really didn't like wandering around town shopping; shopping was number sixteen on his list of things he hated. He took a deep breath and leant on his elbows on the table.

'Just get him something that reminds you of him. That's what my mother did when confessing to my father. What does the rabbit remind you of?'

'Um,' Allen smiled and sweat dropped, 'Rabbits?'

'There you go. Get him a rabbit.'

Kanda made to stand to leave, but unfortunately, Allen started thinking again.

'But the order doesn't allow pets... And Lavi doesn't really have the time for taking care of a pet either...Should I get him a toy rabbit? No...' the shorter shook his head, 'getting him a toy doesn't feel right...'

The samurai sighed, a vein throbbing in his temple. The Moyashi was truly an indecisive brat. He wanted nothing more then to leave, but no doubt if he did he would wake up tomorrow to find the damn order plastered with his baby pictures, with everyone cooing and squeeing about how cute he was... Ugh, he couldn't even stand the thought.

'Look,' he stood and slammed his hands on the table, making Allen start in alarm. 'Lavi is a sentimental fool. He'll treasure anything you give him if it's from the heart! So just think of something and let me go!'

Allen blinked up at the fuming teen. Then, suddenly, his face split into a bright wide smile.

'That's it!' he cried happily, standing as well. He grabbed Kanda's hand and dragged him from the cafe without even waiting for his food to arrive.

--

Lavi walked up towards his room, hands linked casually behind his head. He had finally gotten all the work done, but it had been tiring, and he was ready to go take a nap before dinner. Letting his mind wander as he walked through the well-tread corridors, he thought about Kanda and Allen going into town together without a mission. The two couldn't possibly be friends now could they? Last time he saw them together they'd been trying to kill each other...

'_Maybe they were running some errands for someone...' _the redhead wondered. They had left more then two hours ago though, and as far as he knew they hadn't gotten back yet. Most errands didn't take that long, unless they were really big errands or there were a lot of them.  
Just then, he saw Lenalee up ahead. He grinned and called out.

'Oi Lenalee!'

'Hm?' the Chinese girl stopped and turned to look. 'Oh hi Lavi,' she smiled as he caught up to her, 'how are you?'

'Good... A little tired though. Hey, earlier I saw Yu-Chan and Allen walking into town with each other. Any idea what they were doing?'

'Allen and Kanda went into town together?' Lenalee blinked, then smiled as they started walking again together, 'Oh that! Didn't you know Lavi? Those two are dating now.'

Lavi screeched to a halt.

'EEH?!'

'Yes, I was surprised when I first heard too,' she smiled, 'But apparently they've been sitting together at meal times, having private conversations in empty corridors, and Johnny and Reever said they saw Allen hug Kanda after one of those conversations and live. Isn't it nice two people have fallen in love?'

She batted her eyelashes seductively, making Lavi sweat drop. She was one of the people who liked him, and while he though she was attractive, he couldn't say he liked her that way. He held up his hands.

'Yes, it's very good those two are dating. However, I myself prefer the single life you know? It's a lot more fun. I don't like anyone right now anyway.

'Oh... Ok... Well, I best be going now.'

Lenalee bowed her head politely, smiled and continued on ahead. Lavi sighed in relief; he was glad he hadn't upset her. He then turned his thoughts to the news he had just been given.

'Yu-Chan... And Allen? Dating? That can't be right! Allen...'

'Yes?'

'HOLY SHIT!'

Lavi almost jumped out of his skin. Allen stood behind him, an innocent smile on his face, a small tissue-paper package in his hands.

'A-Allen! Don't scare me like that! Sheesh!'

'Sorry...What's not right Lavi?'

'N-Nothing...' Lavi panted, clutching his heart. He smiled.

'Hey Allen, is it true you're dating Yu-Chan?

'What?' the shorter blinked, 'Where did you hear that?'

'Lenalee told me.' The redhead explained, 'I gotta admit, I was a little shocked, but I'm glad you two are finally getting along. It's also nice that you found love! I'm very happy for you.'

Suddenly, Allen's face fell. For a moment, the redhead wondered if he had said something to upset him, but almost immediately after the younger exorcist grinned brightly and put the package in his hands in his pocket.

'I'm glad you think so Lavi. Now could you please tell me which floor Kanda's room is one?'

After Lavi gave him directions, the fifteen year old thanked him and left. The bookman then wandered back to his room. He was pretty confused as to why it felt like there was a hole in his chest just because he found out Allen and Kanda were dating. Maybe it was because he was feeling left out?

'_At least I know why Yu was asking about Allen the other day...'_

_--_

**This chapter was fail. Sorry.**

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